It is just so unsettling to me — a lover of history and literature, that I will not see what the books write of us.
It’s 10pm. I can tell it’s another
one of those nights.
I’m left alone downstairs
and I count the petals on the
sunflower in the jar —
It’s dark but I can see;
One—two—three—four…
It’s 11pm. I slip into an
oversized t-shirt and under
my woolen blue blanket.
I’m hungry, but the only
thing I have is an empty bottle.
It’s 12am—are you still up?
Yes, yes; you must be,
my heart can tell.
I see your eyes reflected in
the stars
but that’s all I need—I’m
happy, I’m happy.
It’s 2am, are you asleep?
Yes, probably. I try to sleep
but my mind is still ticking
like the inside of a clock.
I wonder who you think
about before you fall asleep.
It’s 3am. I’m still awake,
Still blushing (in the dark)
about the fact that I get
to see you today.
Now it’s 4am.
and I stand back in the
dining room,
counting sunflower petals.
I hope I’m who sends you
to sleep.
One—two—three—four…
I think just knowing that someone like you exists is enough for me. I want to keep you forever, like the books on the top shelf — the farthest away from harm so that I could keep you all to myself. Even your name is beautiful, the letters are just rightfully placed. It’s like looking into the twinkling, starry sky. You consume me, my heart and my thoughts. Your existence is enough, for me.
For Michelle
It’s autumn and the leaves
clump in piles big enough
for both of us,
but all I see are palm trees
and all I think about
is autumn and the leaves
that we used to hide in.
It’s winter
and the leaves are gone
and the shrubs wear snow
like we wore knit hats.
But all I see are palm trees
and all I think about
is winter and the snow
we used to play in.
It’s spring and the flowers bud
like little rosy cheeks
and we go to Eisenhower
and run up slides, across the bridge.
But all I see are palm trees
and all I think about
is spring and the budding flowers
we used to grow.
It’s summer and the pool’s open
and we skip to Johnny’s
to eat watermelon and play pretend.
But all I see are palm trees,
and girls in bikinis and fake tans
and all I think about
is summer and the backyards where
we used to play pretend.
